I have heard it mentioned that most people aim to find happiness in their lives. When searching for happiness, what are you looking for?
Happiness is merely an emotion; something that comes by every so often to remind you what it is like to also feel sadness, excitement, anticipation, or fear. To wish for a lifetime of happiness would essentially mean wishing for a lifetime of feeling numb. Happiness is an emotion, and emotions do not last forever.
Instead, I aim to be content. To be content would mean to feel emotions freely, and to accept and understand that emotions, such as sadness and fear, are only temporary dependent on the situation. To be content would mean to be OK with being OK with the life you have built for yourself. To be content does not necessarily mean that you do not try to make yourself better because you are OK with where you are; it simply means that you understand life is not predetermined, and certainly not guaranteed to work in way you believe it ‘should’ be.
To be content would be to throw away the ‘should’ in life. Whose to say what is right, appropriate, or just? No ‘should’ is equivalent for each individual. I used to struggle with this a lot; I would relentlessly compare myself to others in search of what I ‘should’ be doing with my life. But the truth is, my truth, is much different from theirs. What I am meant to do, what I am passionate about, my strengths and weaknesses, are completely different from those around me. We all have different motivators, different fates for our lives, which is to say that ‘should’ is just a word. ‘Should’ is just a word.
My heart after dark 